Tag Archives: Lost

Swirl of thoughts before 2am.

I’m kinda at the point where I am so focused on the things I must take care of currently that other really important things, like friendship and life and health, kinda just swirl around in the back of my mind until I can find free time to get to them.

Part of me just wants to let them swirl for a while.

I’ve been working on lesson plans and school, and figuring out ways to teach grammar that are 1% lesson, and 99% excuses for me to sing songs and have fun.

I’ve also been working on friendships. The amateur film I said I’d help out with resulted in me spending most of my Saturday in a tiny apartment waiting for my scenes while drunk people kept forgetting their lines and my stomach growled in hunger.

If I had anticipated the time consuming aspect of that night, and the people smoking all over the place, I probably wouldn’t have agreed to it. …

There is a lot going on. I’m either underwhelmed by life or overwhelmed by it. Never just whelmed…

On the plus side, I’m being whelmed by a lot more stuff than I used to be whelmed by.

It’s like my tolerance for whelminess has gone up.

Anyway, it’s nearly two am and I should be asleep, but I just attempted to plan a lesson and I’m sitting next to a pile of papers, pondering my life and my future and my stresses and everything I need to do, and I decided I needed to blog and organize some thoughts.

Write them down.

I feel better when something’s finally written.

Like all the swirling in the back of my mind thoughts may not resolve themselves away, but that I’m a step closer when I acknowledge that they are there.

They’re there.

It’s two am.

I’m sleepy and stressed, but I care.

Goodnight.

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Filed under Cdukulele's life.

You

I hate when my phone beeps and I get a new message, and it’s not from you.

I hate when my phone beeps again, because it sent that last message twice, and there’s still nothing from you.

I hate sitting in my room day after day, missing you.

I hate that I think I’m so lonely and friendless, and it’s because the only friend I want is you.

I hate that I can be happy and content and find a way to get through, and then remember that I’m not with you.

I keep thinking about you, and I don’t know how not to.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Love Poems

A glass half full of air.

Optimist, Pessimist.
What will happen?
Who could guess?
Surprises spiraling me around,
Wish the future hiding behind the corner would make a sound.
Instead, in dread, I hang my head, to think of what I’ll do instead.

Time, that unconquerable foe.
Time, that miserable woe.
Oh but Time, my best friend too, for when time passes I come closer to 
Whatever destination I’ve been climbing for,
To bring those sweet moments, I’d let Time soar. 

Optimist, Pessimist.
What am I?
It’s anyone’s guess.
I await the future with hopeful glee,
But still look behind and wonder how all those hours ran past me.

 

—–

I lose my grasp on what I should be doing with my life on a daily basis. Ultimate goal: Get to heaven. In the meantime…

 

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Filed under General Poems