Tag Archives: content

Poem to Friendship

Is it a mistake to wake and take

a moment to send a message,

a note I wrote,

merely, to tell you

Thank you

and you’re sweet,

and you’re kind,

and God bless?

Because I was thinking about it and every other male “friend” managed to add to my life a pile of stress,

and you just are…and are so nicely.

Quietly listen, listen politely.

Don’t barrage me with words or try to indict me

in an entitled way

measuring all the words I did or didn’t say.

You just are and take me in,

you’re just sweet, truly a friend,

and I appreciate it and you,

I value it, I really do.

So, thank you.

 

Now the message’s sent,

you’ve read it, it’s gone, I don’t repent

because you’re all kindness in words and deed,

you deserved to see it, to know and let it feed

your  goodness, your friendship, and to continue,

in being amazing, in being you.

 

-cd

 

 

 

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Filed under General Poems, Various writing

Content

Today I ate some blueberry pie, and I didn’t leave my house.

Days that I don’t have to leave my house are like little treasures after a busy week.

Or they are horrible days of monotony that just go on and on because I have no life.

A perfect balance is required to keep me from depressing over it.

(I just turned an adjective into a verb…Or I simply changed the meaning of the verb. It was either a semantic or functional shift. It was a shift. Grammar. That’s the kind of stuff I’ve been learning in Grad school.)

Anyway, I was supposed to do some music-related activity today, and like, leave my house at some point, but that got cancelled and now it’s happening on Monday. But it might get cancelled again. The person I do music related stuff with and I are kind of lazy. Well, we just get lots of good reasons to delay doing the important music stuff. Like sleep. Employment. Doctor’s appointments. School. It’s totally fine though, I practiced jamming on my ukulele, and was about to post one of my renditions of a Harry Nilson song until my brother told me it was copyright infringement, and so then I hung out with my niece and my parents and ultimately ate pie.

Isn’t my life exciting?

Know what the best part of this exciting day was? There was no obsession with crushes!

My phone is out of order, so nobody can contact me, and there is so much going on with my finals coming and music that I haven’t had time to obsess. I’ve actually been content.

Well, besides the fact that I’m still questioning the benefit of grad school and don’t know what I’m doing with my life, I’m content!

Yay!

Let’s see how long this will last for. Probably just until after I present my final projects.

Well, happy stress time!

When you’re so preoccupied about failure that there’s no time to worry about your lack of a personal life.

Ha.

(Also, “content” is a funny word. Like, from the title you can’t tell if I’m being extremely vague and just writing about writing, or if I’m writing about happiness…And I’m not the best with titles, so that’s the one that this one got. Accept it. )

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Filed under Cdukulele's life.

It may have been the chocolate…

So…My life has actually been pretty amazing since my last post.

I got every question right on that last test I was studying for.

I went to an open mic night, and I wound up playing a thirty minute ukulele set to open up a concert.

And…I just ate some peanut butter and chocolate not too long ago.

I’m doing physical therapy exercises once a day, I can sleep at night -without pain, more or less, and I feel like I’m getting physically stronger.

My body’s getting better, I’m doing well in Grad School, people like my music enough to have me open shows for bands at their bars.

Life…is good.

Plus, the last song I wrote wasn’t a love song, and I’m talking to ex-crushes without a horrible throbbing feeling in my heart. When our conversations end, I don’t feel cut off from them and anxiously await our next conversation. I appreciate our communications and am accepting them for what they are and being happy with my friendships.

I…think I am content.

Sure, there are still problems. Stress. Things to do. But I’m working on it. I feel like I’m working towards something, like I’m getting closer, and it will be okay. Like, there’s a pleasant future to look forward to…

So yeah.

Life’s good right now.

🙂

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Filed under Cdukulele's life.

Good things.

I’m in pain, and it’s enough pain that I’m back to taking two Ibuprofen every four hours to deal with the achy, sore, and generally exhaustedness, and I still feel like I might just go curl up in my bed, but, I’m still happy.

Because there’s so much happy stuff in my life, that I can’t help but be content. So much hope. So much good.

It’s good because…yesterday I had coffee.

I danced with my four year old niece.

I got a slight sunburn from being outside too much.

I raised money for pregnant women and babies.

I got to hug my other four year old niece.

I got to see my godson smile.

I spent time with family.

The guy I’m starting to like actually lets me know that he likes me.

The guy that I like is actually a decent guy.

I wrote a new ukulele song, and know what I’m going to play at open mic night.

My brother wants to help me record my songs at the little production company his friend started.

My sister wants me to sing a song at her wedding reception.

I feel hopeful for the future.

I’m content with the present.

I’m building on the past.

Things are going well, even with the pain.

It’s exhausting, but it’s good.

Have a blessed day.

I am.

 

 

–  Catherine

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Cdukulele's life.

Poem about Real Love

The internet allows for waaaaaay too much stalking. Too much heart stupidity. I should write some more happy stuff on here.

I’m a nut.
Thinking about what?
You, and your stupid little star striking ability.
Your voice kinda devours me.
Please go marry her.
Go fall and love and be happy.
Then maybe I can fall into my role as best friend, instead of heartbroken lover.

This is why I shouldn’t have friends.
This is why I shouldn’t be allowed to have guy friends.
This is why I can’t socialize with people like you.Beautiful people with beautiful voices that I just want to hug.

Is it possible to hug a voice?
Your voice makes me feel like hugging, and jumping through fields of lavendar.

It makes me feel so very angry and so very happy at the same time. So angry happy. So happy, that I’m angry.
I feel like you had more control over this than I did.
Like you knew what you were doing, with your voice, and your words, and your friendship,
Melting my heart.

Mine is an unreasonable response.
Unreasonable, unlogical response, and like a muse, you go on, and I melt, lost and inspired in my pain.
But yours is an unreasonable beauty.
I can’t love it so much, it cannot be so loveable, so desirable, so soul stretching, but it is, losing me in its depth.

The Lord knows. That unfathomable beauty, that unfathomable desire for it. He knows. He sees it. He lives it. He makes it.

The beauty to reflect back to him, the desire to pull towards him.

In my loneliness I look at that which is lovely and I realize it doesn’t fill my emptiness.
I look at that which draws me in and I see that it’s meant to bring me to more, to the source of all love.

I am drawn in by your beauty, but I am drawn past you, past the creation, to the Creator, past the painting and to the painter of real love itself, drawn to him, drawn to Christ, drawn to true Love.

I love you, oh how I love you, and I am going to try to continue to love because of you, because of the light of the Love I see in you, that reflection of the perfection.

I will continue to love you, to try to love you, like a lover of Christ.

Working toward perfection with my life.

I will love, and that will be enough, for me.

———

Now to find an open mic to read that at… – Catherine.

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Filed under All Poetry, Cdukulele's love life., Love Poems

Peas

You make me feel like everything is going to be okay. Like, there is hope and happiness. Like you are proof that there is love and goodness in this world. Proof of friendship.
I don’t know if it’s you, or the way you make me feel when I’m with you. The way I feel when I’m not with you. The way I feel just knowing that you exist. It makes me happy, it makes me content, as if as long as you are, I can always go on, and with that in my mind, all I want is to do everything I can to make you happy.

I don’t understand it myself. Nobody else has ever brought me the peace that liking you brings. There was always stress and fear and complications. Thinking of you just, makes me content. Is it because we’re friends? And because when you say we’re friends there is no pressure for more and I feel like you genuinely enjoy our time together, and I genuinely enjoy it too?

No pressure, but still hope, still something, because whatever this friendship is now, it can only become stronger and happier and more beautiful as time goes on?
Because you’re an artist, and I’m artist. You like puppies, and I like puppies. You admire literature, and I do too. We both joke, we both laugh at each other’s jokes.

There’s compatibility. There’s friendship. There’s happiness. It brings me peace, and I like it. I like you.

Thank you. Thank you for this friendship.

– Cdukulele

 

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Filed under Cdukulele's love life.

MORE POETRY????? I think so…

Firstly, please ignore my scattered-emotional-roller-coasterness, and the way I talk about love one moment, and misery the next, and write a depressing poem, and then muse about marriage. Hopefully you already do. Or perhaps you never noticed it to begin with. Ha.

Secondly, thank you for liking any of my posts ever, and thank you for enjoying my poems. You make my flutters of emotional nonsense seem worth it.

Thirdly…Here’s another poem:

I like you.

Said so innocently.
Just a slip of the tongue.
And I don’t even know precisely what you mean.

And of course I like you too.
Just like I liked the guy who
sat with me outside on a sunny day,
but the wind was cold,
so we went inside,
and there he told
me that he liked me.
And he asked where it would lead,
that little liking seed.
But that went nowhere.

But I do like you.

Like I liked the one,
That I liked so much, that some
time before he went away
I said “I love you”,
In a straight-faced way.
And he smiled back, and took a breath,
and said “I love you too”,
with no thought or mess
of emotions inside his pretty head,
he loved just exactly
how he had said.

I like you too.

And then I asked you what you meant,
Just liking me, or liking with more behind it?
and you laughed and said,
we’ll wait and see.
And that laugh, and the patience, comforted me.

For I like you too.
But I don’t know quite how.
And there’s comfort in knowing
that I don’t have to know now.

The end. Thank you for reading. If you have any thoughts, or know what I’m talking about, feel free to comment and share them. Thanks again. -cdukulele

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Filed under All Poetry