Tag Archives: communication

Imaginary Scenes in my life.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing much. Just dreaming that we’re inĀ  love, and waking up and wishing it were true until I realize that there’s nothing to base that love on and in reality it’s hard for us to say more than a couple dozen words to each other.”

“Interesting.”

————–

“How’s it going?”

“Alright. Except that I’m growing more and more dependent on our friendship and I think you just kind of tolerate me, and talking to you makes me feel better about every aspect of my life and so sometimes I feel like I NEED to talk to you and I’m starting to fall in love but I can’t because we’re just friends and while you’re amazing to talk to, I don’t think we agree enough on anything important to ever be more.”

“I see.”

—–

“How’s life?”

“It’s a confusing mixture of figuring out my future and figuring out my friendships, and trying to enjoy things just the way they are and not reaching for more, but then growing lonely and discontent and letting my mind race through a million scenarios like a puppy without a leash, and trying to stop that puppy from getting hit by a car.”

“Okay.”

——

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Filed under Cdukulele's life.

I hate technology.

There’s a disconnect in our communications and I’m embarrassed because it feels like my fault.

My fault for being me.

There’s this lack of understanding

an inability to read what’s being said,

what’s being thought,

and it’s my fault.

This is why I hate technology.

I say too much, and then I keep speaking.

I should be silent but I just keep keeping, talk on, sing my song…

Because I’m lonely and I’m starving for communication and friendship,

connection with the world, some sort of kinship,

through the lifeless glow of a computer screen…

Communication is so much harder with a face that can’t be seen.

I am lonely.

I fill the lonely with attempts at communication.

But the endless small talk gives no satiation, except of itself.

I’m done with that self.

The skim top, not cream of the crop, fluff of foam that flutters away when blown because it’s nothing, founded on nothing, I’m done with nothing, and I need something.

So when the disconnect starts and I try to still my heart, from the reaching and depth and my attempt to connect,

when I tell it to stop, to be brief, just a hop

conversation, let the meaning slide,

when I begin and just try to hide

behind curtness of words

and curtness of form,

because I talk too much,

and I say too much,

and I care too much,

and I give too much,

and I am too much

for you –

and I try to stop myself, I will stop myself, but I don’t think that it is really me who

is at fault,

cuz maybe i’m the adult

who actually wants to share,

who actually wants to care,

to actually be there,

more than just the small talk that you see.

I hate technology.

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Filed under All Poetry

A poem: “Talk”

I want to talk to someone, I want to talk to you.
I don’t know why exactly, I just know that I do.
It’s not that I like you, you know, in that liking someone way,
It’s more that I simply enjoy conversing and sharing about my day.
I like that you listen, I like that you care, I like that we talk, I like that you’re there.

I want to talk to someone, I want to talk to you.
I could talk to someone else, but I don’t know who.
It could be that you’re special and you actually get me.
It could be that you’re smart and generally funny.
It could be a million things, that anyone could suppose,
I just know I want to talk to you for reasons, who knows?

I want to talk to someone, I want to talk to you.
If I want to talk to someone, do you want to talk to someone too?
Do you enjoy conversing, and sharing about your day,
Speaking while someone’s listening, do you have a lot to say?
If you’d like to talk, then I’d listen happily,
You could talk while I listened, and then you could listen to me.
It’s quite a simple concept, not really complex
Talking with someone and finding out what’s next.
Anyway, if you want to talk, and if you are free, and you have to talk to someone,
feel free to talk to me.

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Filed under All Poetry, General Poems