Category Archives: General Poems

The Poems about anything, not love related.

Fear

I am afraid of my bones

betraying me

when I need them most

dragging me down

so I’m barely a ghost

unable to move

because they are rock

choking me

so I can’t see, hear, or talk.

I am afraid of my future

the world unknown,

what will happen when

I’m older but not much more grown,

when it’s time to be ready

and I’m not ready in time

I’m afraid of the future, I’m afraid of dying.

I’m afraid of failure,

I’m afraid of breaking,

I’m afraid of missing out by chances not taking,

I’m afraid of loneliness,

I’m afraid of greed,

I’m afraid of not having all that I’ll need.

I’m afraid of myself – not being enough,

taking the parts and not having the stuff

to make it through to be the best I can be,

I’m afraid of myself, failing me.

I am afraid

and it makes me cry, makes me huddle together, rock back and forth, sigh.

It makes me stare into space and question my plans, makes me shiver and fumble and squeeze my hands.

I am afraid

and it makes me weak. Makes me tired of listening and not willing to speak. Makes me want to give up, stop trying, not go on – makes me crumble and tumble headlong, from minute to minute, day to day, lost in the current of not being okay, insecure, unwise, alone, and unmade, fearing that no one will come to my aide, wanting someone to tell me to not be afraid.

I pause and reflect, my memories recollect, the answer I’ve heard, sung word by word…”Be not afraid, I go before you always, come follow me, and I will give you rest”.

 

My heart calms, I still have qualms, but they’re soothed by psalms, and with a belief that the ONE loves me… perhaps I can be free.

 

 

 

 

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Poem to Friendship

Is it a mistake to wake and take

a moment to send a message,

a note I wrote,

merely, to tell you

Thank you

and you’re sweet,

and you’re kind,

and God bless?

Because I was thinking about it and every other male “friend” managed to add to my life a pile of stress,

and you just are…and are so nicely.

Quietly listen, listen politely.

Don’t barrage me with words or try to indict me

in an entitled way

measuring all the words I did or didn’t say.

You just are and take me in,

you’re just sweet, truly a friend,

and I appreciate it and you,

I value it, I really do.

So, thank you.

 

Now the message’s sent,

you’ve read it, it’s gone, I don’t repent

because you’re all kindness in words and deed,

you deserved to see it, to know and let it feed

your  goodness, your friendship, and to continue,

in being amazing, in being you.

 

-cd

 

 

 

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Filed under General Poems, Various writing

ODR: An incredibly depressing compilation of words about pain.

Here’s a poem I wrote June 2nd, 2014, when my physical state was a more painful than now. My current life is far superior in regards to the pain aspect, but there are sad things in it that I don’t want to think of, so I’m zooming backwards a moment. Here it is, entitled “An incredibly depressing compilation of words about pain”, catchy, eh?

 

One drop of pain,
but it just keeps dripping,
and sometimes all I want to do
is stab it with a knife, just kill it and make it dull,
and end the pain,
override it with new pain,
make it leave my system entirely,
because how can it still be sensing pain that isn’t there?

 

Other times I forget that it’s there.
Life distracts you.
Then you start to think you complain too much, but later you’re back to wanting to violently attack the pain away, and you can’t, and it won’t go.
Stronger-weaker, stronger-weaker,
It seems to only come back when you’ve started to try to live your life again.
When you try to ignore it.
Because you’re too tired of walking on eggshells to keep its temper
Too tired of hiding by yourself.

You just want to fight.
Run.
Be happy and alive.

Then it beats you down and you’re alone again.
With the dripping pain.
Too weak to fight it.
Too weak to live your life.
It hurts and you just let it hurt.
Eventually it will stop.
Because everything stops.
In the meantime you’re just hoping.
Hoping and hurting.
Living your life the only way you know how, and waiting for the pain to die, so you can live.

 

What’s pain anyway?

 

 

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Filed under General Poems, ODR: Old Drafts Revisited

What I would say if I were expelled from an imaginary school.

Expelled.

Sent away.

Blocked.

Forgotten.

Desist,

Turn away,

We don’t want you,

You’re rotten.

All these thoughts go through my mind as I think of how I’m apart from my kind.

No longer present, without my friends, is this how all loneliness begins?

Imaginary.

Unreal.

Untrue.

Fake.

Is it the people or the memories that make

Something real.

True.

There.

But I’ve been expelled so I no longer care.

—————

for lovelimess

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Hello facebook

Hello facebook, don’t mind me, I’m merely checking in to see

if anyone wants to speak.

Hello facebook, I’m off to class, but I’m just logging in real fast. My mailbox is dark, oh well. Had to check, you can never tell.

Hello facebook, I’m back again, class is over, time for homework then. I’ll just check before I start…feel like we’ve been too long apart.

Hello facebook, I need to chill, I think I’ll watch a movie til

maybe someone talks to me?

Hello facebook, one last glimpse, I’m about to go to sleep again, but I just have to check to see

if my friends still think of me.

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A poem: “Talk”

I want to talk to someone, I want to talk to you.
I don’t know why exactly, I just know that I do.
It’s not that I like you, you know, in that liking someone way,
It’s more that I simply enjoy conversing and sharing about my day.
I like that you listen, I like that you care, I like that we talk, I like that you’re there.

I want to talk to someone, I want to talk to you.
I could talk to someone else, but I don’t know who.
It could be that you’re special and you actually get me.
It could be that you’re smart and generally funny.
It could be a million things, that anyone could suppose,
I just know I want to talk to you for reasons, who knows?

I want to talk to someone, I want to talk to you.
If I want to talk to someone, do you want to talk to someone too?
Do you enjoy conversing, and sharing about your day,
Speaking while someone’s listening, do you have a lot to say?
If you’d like to talk, then I’d listen happily,
You could talk while I listened, and then you could listen to me.
It’s quite a simple concept, not really complex
Talking with someone and finding out what’s next.
Anyway, if you want to talk, and if you are free, and you have to talk to someone,
feel free to talk to me.

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Filed under All Poetry, General Poems

Shots of Nyquil – A poem –

Shots of Nyquil help me sleep
Sleep I do, but not so deep
Stuck in memories that keep
me shifting, tossing covers.

I am sick but I’m not cold
Still so young but feel so old
Wishing for the path untold
With fear of never trying.

Now I move to make me whole
I’m on a path to keep my soul
trudging grandly, to pay the toll,
a future still in question.

Oh to sing, it would be grand
for them to hear and understand
to look and see and give a hand,
a future that I dream of.

But on I march and quite unsure,
On I march, for I am her,
Steadily working without lure
toward the future I have chosen.

This is my life, or so it seems
This is my life, not stuff of dreams
This is my life, and all it brings
I hope will be enough.

Shots of Nyquil help me sleep
Sleep I do, but not so deep
Tossing covers do not keep
Me warm, but I’m not cold.

Dreaming of the life I’d lead
If I wasn’t drawn by need
To pay for bill, loan, or deed,
Oh what a life in question.

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