A bit of a background…

I’ve been blogging sporadically since fall of 2011 and then in Summer of 2012 I started to blog a bit more as I discovered I had a Chiari Malformation and needed surgery.

I blogged through the terror of surgery, the misery of recovery, and the devastation that followed breaking my neck. By May 2013 I was out of the neck brace and my surgery was 8 months behind me, I graduated college cum laude and left all my friends on one side of the country and returned to the west coast and my family.

The crush of returning home and becoming entirely dependent once more, after a surgery that made me an invalid for many months, was too much too bear and I couldn’t handle a blog where people I knew would read my thoughts and freak out about me even more. But I wanted to be heard, I wanted to talk, I wanted my thoughts to become words and I wanted those words to be heard and understood. I started writing songs and playing them on my ukulele at a coffee shop. I also started writing on this, my secret second blog that my Mom (prime worrier) and the rest of my family and friends don’t know about.

So that’s the story.

I have poems, I have random stupid thoughts, I have stories and ideas on this blog that are here because I’m too afraid to share with people I know who might judge me or ask questions or be upset that their preconceived notions about me have been shattered. I also have a lot of kinda obsessed love poetry about random guys I meet that friends/family may know, and that’s another reason why this blog is a secret. I like to vent the crazy love feelings somewhere so that I can stop thinking about it and move on, and a secret blog for all things vent related is convenient to have.

That’s a bit of a background, to supplement that “Hey” that I gave you earlier.

-cdukulele

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23 responses to “A bit of a background…

  1. I have a “friend”with adult onset Arnold chiari. I was wondering if you could take a look at her blog and offer any comments you may have. Her call for advise can be found on my blog under the post entitled ‘Journey on’. I hate being a part of this chronic pain society, but at the same time, that’s why I started my blog…to be able to help others. So, since you have been through surgery and all, even if you still hurt everyday (I hope you don’t, but if you do, that’s ok) the point in advise is to receive it from someone who knows what they’re talking about. Thanks in advance.

  2. Hey! Hope your having a great day!!

    • Thanks inga32! It’s a pretty decent day. I have an MRI for my back actually…So that’s exciting. Oh lovely MRI’s. Actually, they’ve become rather relaxing for me, now that I’ve been through so many of them…But I’m getting over a cold so I’m hoping I don’t cough in the machine.

  3. Thanks for the follow. It’s a beautiful thing, a secret site and a public one. Life’s like that in general, am I right?
    I look forward to wandering around your place here and reading your writing!

    • You’re welcome, I liked your writing and wanted to be able to read more.
      It is nice, though the blog my family knows about suffers for it. Oddly enough, I find myself with more thoughts that I’d rather share with complete strangers than with people I know. Life is kind of like that, it takes courage to completely be yourself and sometimes people still don’t understand who you are, so I’m testing things out. Anyway, welcome! And thank you for your comment.

  4. markgilvillar12

    Thank you for following my blog. Now i’m following you too 🙂

    THANKS

  5. bkpkwithpeanuts

    Just wanted to let you know, I love your writing style. Its very whimsical 🙂

    • Thank you, I like your blog too – I just checked it out. Your newest post is rather intense. My writing style would be what I might classify as…frantically speaking my mind and not bothering with formal grammar rules. I kind of just communicate ideas, and if I understand it, then I’m happy. So, I’m glad that you understand and appreciate it too.

  6. SheryL♥

    Wow! Interesting blog!
    Thanks for the follow! 🙂

  7. You have an undeniable talent.
    your works are real and relatable.
    please just keep writing ❤

    • AWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! Thank you so very much. 🙂 I especially appreciate the heart. And the compliments. And the making me feel like this entire blog is not just a tribute to narcissism…Because if other people read and get some happiness out of it then it’s not just all about me!…Except that it’s totally a blog all about my life and whatever I want to write about and say because of my desperate need to share every mundane detail of my life with someone…ha…ha… Seriously though, you’re sweet and I appreciate it and I’ll keep it up.

      • what is a blog but a compulsive record of all the mundane and seemingly insignificant flashes of events?
        you deserved every bit of the compliment. ❤

      • Thanks for putting one more nail in the coffin of professional authorship. You get it all, the individual author gets squeezed-out. First we get rid of the bookstores in favor of online transactions, now we flood the market with rooe-tproducbd literature.

        • Andi, thank you for your comment. I think you are making a reference to an issue that is experienced by pretty much every producer of creative work that exists: photography, music, writing. But the solution can’t be to stop producing it, to stop sharing it. Sometimes a creator cares more about ideas being shared than simply having a title of “professional author” or making money from it. For the few who make living wages off their art, I’m sure it’s nice. For people like me, I just want to express my ideas and thoughts and see if anyone has a similar point of view. Blogs allow you to have more of that closeness than book writing does – there’s more instant feedback. It’s like playing a song at an open mic, versus recording it in a studio and having an official release for it. In one scenario you don’t make any money, but you get to see the audience before you, and even communicate with them. Sometimes you just need to produce art.

          And for readers, it’s a different experience as well. If you read a book it’s like a long term commitment to delve into someone’s writing style and who they are – and it’s a completely finished work, you know exactly what you are getting into once you start a book, there is a set end date and a goal, and you’d expect the writer to have a clear purpose that you’ll find as you read the book. For a reader of a blog, I don’t expect that. I might see short clips of someone’s life, and see the purpose of the day to day activities.

          Individual authors shouldn’t feel squeezed out, not unless they are trying to turn blog material into a book. They are different genres that should be treated differently.

          This is my opinion at least, but perhaps you have greater insight and knowledge into the matter of professional authorship than me. I don’t know all the facts.

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