Fireworks and distractions

Happy July 4th, I love America.


Now that I’ve displayed patriotism, I shall talk about other things. Or maybe this day of independence celebrated by exploding things connects to what I’m about to say – because a lot of people drink beer and then light explosives off that are inches from their fingertips on July 4th, and they lose fingers, and I just put some board games away while cleaning and suddenly my finger is in agony and I can’t bend it. I hurt my finger. That’s how it relates. I didn’t blow my finger off with a firework – but I did hurt it… putting away a game.

As I type this out with one hand and contemplate how frequently and easily I hurt myself, and the fact that my foot still throbs because it’s probably broken too, and I woke up this morning with legs cramping and a body saying – Catherine, I hate you, we hate the world, roll back over and go to sleep, I wonder at what point I’ll have to inform the people I love of my injuries. I don’t like informing people of my pain, their reactions are usually very pitying, and pestering, and involve things like telling me to go to the hospital…and asking me things like why I haven’t been to the hospital yet…

So, I made a doctor’s appointment online for a week and a day from now, and I’ll just ward off their comments until then by masking my pain as exhaustion and anti-social behavior… Except I recently wound up with a boyfriend and he really likes to hold my hand, and he might notice me wincing in pain…or take anti-social behavior personally.

I was wondering the first two weeks of this relationship whether dating him was a good idea, because he seemed to like me so much, and I seemed just about perfect and flawless in his eyes, while he’s a normal human being – but now I remember that I’m secretly bound to fall apart at any moment, and him being able to accept that would be a miracle in itself and that – followed with his continued attempts to actually love me and will my good, would pretty much mean I should marry him…

I’m getting ahead of myself though.

Right now all I know is I’m in pain and it sucks, and I don’t wanna let anyone know because then I get treated like an invalid, except by the doctors who are just like “Yep, you broke something, here’s another cast!”, and then send me out the office because all I am is another patient. So then it’s me, in a cast, facing the pitiful faces of those I love and attempting to make them think everything is fine so that they’ll let me continue to live a semblance of a normal life.

Well, it’s a normal life for me…breaking bones.

I’m probably fine, but I needed to vent.

Pray for me dear readers. Prayers work miracles. In fact, thanks for your prayers for my friend with cancer – all her tumors disappeared. Praise be to God!

He’s the reason for my hope, my joy, and also why I don’t like making a huge deal when I hurt myself, because it always gets better.


I do need to go to the doctor though.

Okay, bye!





Filed under Cdukulele's life.

11 responses to “Fireworks and distractions

  1. Isn’t it just funny how putting away a game is more destructive than if you had participated in fireworks and got hurt that way. Ironic how life works.

  2. That’s incredible news about your friend.And the boyfriend.
    WHAT’S HE LIKE?Have I lost track of posts and is this why I have failed to read a description of him?Going to scroll back now.

    • HAHAHAHAA…No, you haven’t failed at all, I just haven’t described him. šŸ˜€

      • Damn.Description soon to come?

        • Oh, my dear reader who actually follows my posts and possibly knows more about my personal life than my family and boyfriend himself, my paranoia and fear of being found out prevents me from wanting to give a full out description of anyone on here! But eventually I’ll probably break down and write something. Probably soon. Probably a poem of some sort. Once I’m ready to permit my infatuation/love to be examined and judged by my small community of readers/myself, because as soon as I start writing I’ll see how I feel about the relationship. It’s very new. I don’t even know for certain. Lots of dating. Not too much to say…

          • …Lots of dating is good,yes?How’re you feeling about that relationship now?It’s been a while since I’ve used this site….in actuality.How’re youuuuu?And how is life in general?:)

            • This is your first comment, and I see you made another, so I’ll go respond to that one instead, because I think it’s the second one….Except no, lots of dating is not good. I’d prefer 1 person that I loved completely to love me back. Unless we are talking about lots of dates with 1 person. That would be good. Oh ended relationships…Oh, and welcome back šŸ™‚

              • Yes that was the second one.I meant lots of dates with one person.But if it takes lots of dates with lots of people to reach the part where there are lots of dates with one person,then…..oh well.THANK YOU IT’S BEEN SO LONG.

        • Though I will let you know that he’s the one who inspired this post:

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