Life goes on…

I haven’t talked to the friend that I wrote about in my last post for a while…It’s only been a couple days but it feels like a while. Your mind can so easily switch from one mode to another and you can sometimes forget about something entirely depending on who you’re with.

I went to a movie with one of my local friends tonight, and the previews started running. After one for a comedy there was one with Drew Barrymore and a British lady (I’m sorry, I’ve seen more Drew Barrymore films and I don’t recall the other actress’s name), and the whole concept of the film was that they were best friends and then one of them got cancer. It was a slightly unreal moment for me. I was just sitting there thinking, how did they know that my friend has cancer? …Of course, it was only a preview for a film, and in the film the lady with cancer is in her forties, and has two children, and is getting chemotherapy and explaining it to her kids, and anyway, what they show in the two minute preview is your basic: I have cancer, I’m going to fight it, we will get through this, but if we don’t it’s okay, that’s life, movie. …Is that a basic type of movie? I mean, it was an upbeat film. According to the two minute preview I saw.

Basically, she was fighting for her life…and I just remembered my friend…and she…she is praying.

Praying can be fighting. Prayer warriors exist. God is there.

It’s just…

You need prayer and action. You can have faith to move mountains, but sometimes you have to use a shovel. God can make miracles happen in your life, but sometimes you got to meet him part way.

It seems like when you have options and a chance to do something, maybe you should do it…Maybe you can try…Please try?

I can’t read her mind. Perhaps the details are such that prayer really is her only option…Our only option…But, from what she’s said, she’s making it her only option. Again, maybe mentally she doesn’t think she could handle anything else…But in a society so focused on comfort and not being in pain, heck, even as myself – focusing so much on pleasure with that fear of pain and suffering, it’s like, we forget the good that can come with the difficult. The fact that fire can burn, but it makes metal stronger.

I think sometimes we have to be reminded that certain things are possible and that sometimes we should try, even if we don’t want to, because sometimes we think less is possible than it is. We have less faith in ourselves than we should have. We don’t do things because we are afraid and we let fear stop us from living…Sometimes, literally. Like maybe my friend’s afraid of pain to the point where the fear is going to end her life. I don’t want that to happen. …Life isn’t about pleasure…It’s about joy, contentment, love. Love means willing the best for the other…So my arguments for her going through surgery are that she might not die, dying without surgery will already be painful, and there might be beautiful years of life ahead of her if she would only try.

It may not even come to that though.

In two weeks the tumor may be completely gone.

Or maybe, oh that would be a miracle too, in two weeks it will have shrunk to an operable size.

Then we’d just need the other miracle of her agreeing to treatment, her agreeing that her life is worth that temporary pain. Her trusting that more beautiful things are possible after treatment, that her life is worth it, that she is loved and can love so much more if she goes through with the treatment.

Praying for miracles.

So that is where things are at currently. My friend is praying, I am praying, and I often slip into just not thinking about this for hours at a time…Because life happens. Because of school and other people in your life…Because she waited a year to tell me that she had a tumor and even now she is still working and almost too busy to talk. She’d rather work than talk…Because if she stops working to talk, she’ll break down and cry…that much I know, that much she told me.

Ultimately, I don’t know what to do but pray, and carry on life as usual until I get another chance to talk to her, and until the next appointment when they find out whether a miracle happened or not.

Thank you for your prayers and love.

-Cdukulele

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