On the other side

When things like this happen I begin to wonder which is worse, to be the unrequited lover, or to be the beloved with a heart.
Being the object of someone’s affections totally sucks when you have no feelings toward them, or like, worse than that, when your feelings toward them are negative.
I mean, if I just had NO FEELINGS for this person, then my heart could probably be persuaded over time. But like, I just don’t like this person.
Of course, not liking can also be persuaded away, but I just…I don’t want to lead them on.
Everyone deserves to be with someone who wants to be with them.

Maybe they just want to be friends?

…being the unrequited lover is definitely worse. Poor guy. How to let him down gently?
How to be kind and courteous and Christian and not make him think things I don’t want him to, like specifically that I like him as something more than a friend.
I kinda don’t even know if I want to be friends with him.
Is that bad?
Like I think we don’t have anything in common and he is kinda boring to me.
Do I sound bad?
You’re allowed to not wanna be friends with people sometimes, right?
I mean, I still want him to be a happy individual and don’t want him to suffer or anything, I just don’t particularly think hanging out will bring me any joy.
Which, I don’t want to sound selfish, but how bad would it be if you’re hanging out with someone and you find out that the only reason they are hanging out with you is because they feel bad, and not because they genuinely enjoy your company?

I mean, sure, sometimes, people just hang with people and are there for them, and this is not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about I don’t want to go to coffee with a guy when it seems very date-like, and I don’t want him to think I want to date him.

And now I quickly realize that I am just putting him into a little box and not realizing what potentially great friend material he could be. I could be his friend. UH. probably. I mean, as long as I start to feel less like he’s flirting with me.

I feel like a hypocrite. Am I a hypocrite? I mean, every other post I have is about my unrequited feelings for men, and now that a guy likes me that I don’t like, I’m just like squirming to get away from him.
How am I so unfeeling towards him?
But I think the difference is, I developed friendships with the people I had crushes on, and the feelings developed after we had mutually spent time together and it wasn’t me putting them in situations where they were forced to spend time with me by myself. I mean, I invited them to events and things, but it was never like: we should chill, together, by ourselves, and talk. I didn’t do that to people.
I developed unrequited affections for people who were mutually interested/my friends to some degree already. This guy is barely my acquaintance and now wants me to commit to spending time talking just to him.

…I need to invite other people. Find a way to invite other people.
I can agree to chill with him, but it will only be in a situation in which I can bring other people so that it’s not like a date.
I can be his friend, but I’m not gonna date him.
No sir.

Okay well, that’s my one story of a guy having a crush on me that I don’t like for the year.

Maybe the next guy that likes me I’ll like back.
That’d be pleasant.

In the mean time, more unrequited love stories where my love is rejected are to come, because that’s how things tend to work out for me.

Side note: Have you ever been on the opposite end of unwanted affections? What did you do, how did you feel? Let me know about it in the comments below or write a post and link it back to me. I want to know how human beings deal with this. It will give me insight to my own behavior and also how I might potentially be perceived by the people I pursue. Thanks.

– cdukulele, the object of a random guy’s affections for once (That makes me feel more special and appreciative of the guy. I still don’t want him to think I like him in that way though. It’s better for both of us if that doesn’t happen.)


Leave a comment

Filed under Cdukulele's life.

Thoughts, comments, opinions, ideas?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s