Monthly Archives: March 2015

Family values

I want to get married and have babies and take care of them and love and protect them and raise them.

I totally will probably stop writing sappy love songs if I ever actually get into one of those relationships.

Something must be up with my hormones. They’re in the I want to be a mother mode.

It’s like when my sister turned twenty-something and started running around the house and updating facebook statuses with things like “I WANT BABIES”.

It’s crazy the things you’ll say. Except she was in that mode for a good three years, and I think she’s still in it, she’s just less vocal about it since she broke up with her fiancee…

Anyway, I’m also willing to adopt small humans or just volunteer to help them with homework. That works too.

I’m too poor and totally single to actually become a wife and mother right now.

It must have been that country singer at the concert last night. His little daughter came over to me before the show and started trying to strum my ukulele, and she was freakin’ adorable. Then he invited his wife to come up on stage and sing some songs with him, and it was beautiful.

I want that love, you know? I want that purpose and that commitment and responsibility to taking care of a life and sacrificing your own life for the good of others. Plus I’d get to hold precious children in my arms and love them.

I get to do that anyway, I mean, I always have the opportunity to love others and sacrifice for them, and with my number of nieces and nephews there are plenty of small children to love…But it’s different than actually having your own little family unit, and your own children, and your own house and people to take care of.

So yeah…I want my own family someday. Some little grouping of people who might think I’m crazy and whom I occasionally embarrass with my ukulele playing and stupid jokes, but who love me anyway, and who play ukulele too because I taught them when they were old enough to walk. …

Anyway, that was just my random want-to-be-a-mom rant. It might be a sign of my aging…I did just turn 24.

Happy Sunday.

-Cat

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I miss my vacation.

I hate when you have four days vacation left and it feels like your entire break is already gone because of all the stuff you have to do…I don’t want to go back to school.

On a side note, over this break I learned from reading blogs that I am a hopeless slob because I can’t keep my room clean, I’ve painted my nails a ridiculous number of times in an attempt to find the right shade that doesn’t make me look like I have freakish feet, and I’ve written 1 blog post (not counting this one). I’ve also begun an free online Spanish course, watched excessive amounts of television, ate cake, ate lots of food, hung out with my niece, played ukulele for two hours, went shopping at Walmart, attempted to clean my room, chatted on the phone for 2 hours, and counted all the money in my piggy bank  (I have 45 dollars in change….which means I’ve gained $25 in change since I started saving in 2011).

I feel like I should have spent this break better.

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Love advice for guys (about girls).

Hello dear friend, have you recently found yourself in the following situation:

You’ve said hello to a girl, added her on facebook, spent some time in her presence, been generally nice to her, and now you have suddenly found that she likes you? You aren’t super attractive and are generally awkward and nerdy, and her declaration of infatuation catches you totally off guard. She is tall and beautiful and has the voice of an angel and is basically a supermodel, and now, she likes you, but you pretty much were just her friend and now you don’t know what to do because while she has a million positive qualities, your own self confidence and fear of friends commenting on the height difference generally prevents you from seeing her as anything more than a friend?
Congratulations! You are an idiot.
However, any girl that fell for you probably fell for you because of your personality and because she wanted to, that being said, this probably had less to do with you than with incredible luck, so it will be pretty hard to make her UN- fall in love with you, and I have no advice.

I had a bunch of advice, but it basically came down to avoiding her, but I then realized that it would make it seem like you weren’t her “friend”, and apparently people in this society value having friends over not torturing the people who are in love with them.

Also, I realized that I have no idea how to make people fall out of love, because most of the advice given to me about falling out of it involves falling in love with someone else – and that worked so well for Romeo.

Anyway, I’ve spent two hours editing my list down and cutting out sarcastic diatribes that pretty much just proved how hopeless I am, so I’m done now.

Good luck.

Be yourself and someone will probably fall in love with you.

As long as yourself has a sense of humor, plays guitar, and has a good singing voice.

If you don’t want them to fall in love with you, stop being so awesome and letting them know about it.

– Cat

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Music Blogging

Apparently music blogging is a thing.

Like, my friends, who are way more focused on the music thing than I am (aka, they are paying money to actually produce cds that sound good, and websites that look good), apparently have blogs about their music experiences.

It’s like, “I don’t know what I’m doing with my music, and I need to focus on this and this and this..”. Or, “I’m on tour, and here’s how it’s going.”

I didn’t realize blogging was something musicians did. I mean, I do it, but I didn’t realize it was something they did on their sites.

It’s making me feel like I should be doing it, but then I don’t want to just be copying them. I feel like they are all far better than me and pretty much, if I do anything it will look like I am copying them…I don’t know why I am so concerned about this.

Then again it also seems rather conceited to write a blog on the site dedicated to selling your music. Like, not only am I a musician, but here are the details of my life, because I know you want to read them….

At least here I can theoretically pretend that I don’t care what you think because you don’t identify me as anything other than a random blogger in the expanse of the blogging world…

Anyway, those are my thoughts…Boring little music thoughts. Also…I have a concert in a little more than a week. Whew.

Was that a music blog?

Eh.

-cdukulele

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Another post about stuff. Specifically: aging.

“I am not here to amuse you.”

“Yes you are here to amuse me!”

No, five year old niece, I am not.
Being an adult is hard.

My birthday is in a couple weeks. I want to do something spectacularly wonderful, as I am going to hit what I consider to be one of the best ages ever, twenty-four.

It’s such a beautiful number of years to be.

Plus twenty-four is the age so many spectacular people were when I met them.

Anyway, for random totally illogical reasons, I am really looking forward to being twenty-four, my only issue is the fact that, I don’t know how I’m going to make it special.

Plus, my body feels more like I’m fifty. Or sixty. I can tell because that’s how old my parents are, and they randomly complain about aches and pains, and thanks to my bone disease, previous surgery, and physical therapy, I pretty much always have some sort of ache or pain.

I’m ancient.
BUT I”M GONNA BE TWENTY-FOUR!

So I want to do twenty-four year old stuff.

I wish the person I didn’t spend the most time with outside my parents and brother wasn’t my five year old niece. Okay, that’s not true. I love her. Did you read her come back to my comment up there? What’s not to love?

Anyway, then maybe I could chill with people my own age.

Maybe I just need to stop having expectations.

My birthday last year was full of expectations, and I was miserable up to the point where I wound up playing mini-golf with my cousin, her boyfriend, and the guy I had a giant crush on at the time. Then it was suddenly the best birthday of my life.

Now that guy has a girlfriend (and they belong together, I mean, I cannot question the relationship that is built on a friendship of four years, I just can’t, they are just too happy and wonderful. HE WROTE HER A SONG, SERIOUSLY), and my cousin and her boyfriend are engaged and…I could totally hang out with them, but it might be depressing.

Not that the happiness of my entire birthday is contingent on whether or not I feel like I am doomed to be alone for the rest of my life, but not feeling that way on your birthday sometimes helps.

Aye.

I should put lower requirements on that day.

24th Birthday Goals:

1. To wake up.

There we go.

Also.

2. To be thankful for another day.

…Okay, I guess I’m done.

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Fun fun fun

HELLOOOOO!!!

I’m at my sister’s house, chilling with my brother, my other sister, and our two year old nephew who is still awake at 1 in the morning.

They’re trying to figure out Netflix on our sister’s tv, while I’m just trying to remember this happy night via wordpress.

I mean, this night is super happy, but the happiness started before the babysitting at 1 in the morning.

It started with a concert.

A stupendously wonderful concert where I saw pretty much every friend I’ve made in music from the last year, all jamming their bestest, entertaining a packed crowd that included me, and making me dream and imagine a bright future of music.

I can’t properly convey my happiness, because most of it just stems from overwhelmingly personal sentiments about what I want to do with my life, and reflecting on things that actually make me happy, and things I’m good at, and actually having friends and support and love, so I’m just going to bullet point some things that happened tonight, so that I can remember and you can get the vaguest picture.

  • I handed out two business cards to enthusiastic chatting people.
  • One of them was an incredibly attractive, model looking man, who reviews music for a local station, has heard my stuff, was super happy to get my card, and told me to come by and play music for their station. I think I love him. Okay, he’s just gorgeous and friendly and in the music field and likes my music. I definitely love him.
  • Right after I bought two of my friends’s cds, I was standing next to the bar with my sister (another one, separate from the one babysitting with me, and the one I am babysitting for) discussing what to do next, a young woman came over to me and was like “Spiders….and butterflies” and I laughed and she said she liked my music, which is what she was referring to  with the spiders comment, because my most popular song is about them, and anyway, she said she really liked my songs and I told her about my upcoming concert, and she was excited about it, so YAY!
  • My other music acquaintance friend invited me to an after party at a bar! Except I don’t have a car and couldn’t go, BUT HE INVITED ME!! 😀
  • The music was just great.

Okay, so anyway, it was just a fantastic night, and now we’ve figured out netflix, so I got to go, because my sister chose a boring show about business pitches, and I must stop this before it goes on much longer.

– Catherine

P.S. On a side note, I dropped one of my grad classes…Like the slacker I am. But my professor/the person in charge of the program I am in, was totally was okay with it, and really understanding and supportive, and now I feel better about life and my plans in general, and like I can actually do this and enjoy my life, and maybe be happy. Like I can do music and grad school, and do both well…Or do the school thing well with the chance to actually relax and play some music sometimes. So overall, life is good.

P.p.s Other fun note for the night, I said bye to one of my friends and he gave me a hug, and there was a girl with him who I hadn’t met, so I said “Oh, and bye George’s friend”, and she said “Oh, no, I’m his girlfriend“, in a pronounced way. It was adorable. Like she thought I was competition and she wanted me to KNOW that he had a girlfriend. I’ve never been thought of as competition before. It made me happy. Not in a like, HAHAHHA THAT’S RIGHT, BE JEALOUS! Kind of way, but a, AWWW, someone actually thinks that they have to tell me that they are dating one of my guy friends, like they are trying to claim him, and they think that I might take him from him or that I have the slightest chance of doing it or something which means that I am actually the slightest bit able to do it…Wait…does that make me a bad person? That her possible jealousy made me happy? I mean, it is COMPLETELY UNFOUNDED, and I definitely want to make sure I totally show her support in her relationship in the future…OH SNAP, last time I saw him, she was hanging out with him and I totally whispered something to him right before I left an open mic he was at….I mean, I was just saying bye to him..So now her, I’M HIS GIRLFRIEND comment totally makes sense. Even though I totally was just behaving as a normal friend, whispering in a talking kind of way, like, just cause he was sitting in a chair so I had to lean over and their were musicians playing, so it wasn’t some flirty thing. She was overly protective. But she seems nice. I should tell him that next time I see him so that she knows…Or I’m reading into it. It was interesting anyway.

Overthinking.

Overthinking but happy, and my nephew has finally conked out and I’m done writing.

Night readers.

– Cat

ANYWAY, that was a big side-track note.

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