Another Prayer

I seem resolved to be unhappy.

Something is wrong with me.

Depression makes for interesting reading.

His voice is gorgeous. I can’t believe I know the person that this voice belongs to.

I can’t believe that he cares so little about me.

I care so little about so many.

I miss happiness.

I miss happiness.

I miss happiness.

It’s so hard to hold onto.

And it’s not part of him.

I need happiness without him.

I need happiness by itself.

I need to be happy without him.

I need to be happy alone.

Because I’m always alone.

I always wind up alone.

Not truly alone, but alone enough.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Lord, Lord, Lord, I’m so poor in spirit, please make sure there’s a place for me up there. And him. Ultimately. In the end. Once I get through this. Today, tomorrow, the next day, for however long I have the chance to live.

Sometimes the pain. How is there so much pain?

My life’s too simple for this much pain.

There isn’t any reason to be in this pain.

Jealousy, loneliness, fear, sadness, emptiness, take it away Lord.

Replace it with…You.

Nothing better than You.


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Filed under Cdukulele's life.

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