I want to be a better person.
I need to be a better person.
Seeing happy couples makes my heart choke a little sometimes.
Seeing him makes me choke a little.
There’s no fathomable reason why it should.
There’s no reason why I should like him.
Why do friendships bring me so much pain? Why does it take me so long to get past jealousy to happy for them level?
To get past crushing to friendship?
Crushing hurts so much.
It didn’t even, this option was not even foreseeable three months ago.
These are the hearts that I never cared about, and somehow, with time and music, my heart’s become wrapped around them.
This is why I fear friendships.
Because, ultimately, I fall.
Ultimately, I trip.
Ultimately, I get so absorbed in the attention, that I forget it’s not for me, it is simply them. The way they are.
The way they are that pulls at my heart and makes it wish I could be with him.
Life was going so well before I wanted what I couldn’t have.
Life was going so well before this heart wanted him.
For that brief moment between crushes, it was going so well.