I’m going to try to make this work on two levels: personal clarification and clarification for you, the second one first.
1. While my last several posts have been about my general “patheticness” and “lostness”, and I just want to apologize if I have bored/annoyed you with my constant complaints. That being said, I will not stop complaining, because troubling things happen in all of our lives, and this is my “super secret blog of complaints”. I might incidentally stop complaining, because happy stuff may happen to me, and I might try to dwell on that, and in fact, happy things do often happen to me, it’s just when I’m overwhelmed I have to write about the sad stuff to get it out of my system so that I can go about the real world as my cheery, normal self.
2. Hello Catherine,
I know, you’re sitting here thinking, “why am I such an idiot who posts her secret most innermost pathetic thoughts on the internet, revealing my weaknesses to any stranger who happens to pass by, and leaving myself totally open to the harshness of the world, with my only protection being the fact that I’m going under an assumed name and this blog exists somewhere in the great wide reaches of the internet where the odds of anyone I actually know finding it and making the connection between it and me are very low?” and that is a very good thought to have, but I want to remind you of why: because you are hoping that your super-emotional ramblings connect with someone else who is super emotionally burdened, and they recognize your pain and your words somehow help them, or they recognize the pain and your words somehow help them. Because you know that, unfortunately, feelings of pain and loneliness and suffering aren’t unique in this world, but the ways in which they are experienced varies, and your posting about them could potentially unite people in suffering so that they can grow stronger and support each other and get through the pain.
Also, you like attention and can’t help but want to share whatever brilliant ideas you think you have with the world, or anyone who will listen.
Well, I think I clarified.
…Until next time.