1. I showed my cousin this “secret blog”, and now I’m not allowed to like John anymore. I was angry about that yesterday, but it’s been two days since I last spoke to John, and my cousin’s verdict that “He doesn’t seem to like you as anything more than a friend” is sounding less painful and more reasonable. I do not regret my countless love poems, songs, and journal entries, because I had to write them to get the feelings out somewhere. Unfortunately, I still like John, despite my cousin’s wise declaration….and I’m still playing the song I wrote in response to my cousin’s question of “Why do you even like John?” this Thursday.
2. The people I spend the most time with, outside of my family, are all males. I don’t know what this means, but I’m wondering if I should maybe work on maintaining some of my old friendships with females. Maybe not, because I have five older sisters, I went to an all girl high school, and my college was 70% women, and their efforts to maintain our friendships don’t seem as strong as any of the guys I’ve met in the last year. In fact, a guy that I broke up with two months ago and told I could never talk to again just sent me a message today saying “Hey”. I had to delete it, of course, but he was the first person to send me a message in several days…and he probably would have responded to anything I sent him instantly.
3. At my tutoring job on Monday, I made a second grader go from grumpily slouching in her chair and refusing to do any work, to actively reading and writing, by writing a story, sentence by sentence, on a piece of paper, and having her help me figure out what would happen next, and write the next sentences herself.
4. Later, I had to explain to this same little girl that you do not just go around telling people “You have a big chest”, and found out, after many of her repetitions of this phrase and awkward comparisons of me to Wonderwoman and Superman, that she was referring to where my clavicle bones meet at the sternum, and how, apparently, my necklace fits there, at the base of my neck, perfectly. My Mom responded to this story by laughing and saying it was funny because my chest was hardly as large as my sister’s…
Also, today I had driving practice for two hours. It was terrifying. My instructor seemed to be under the impression that we would not crash and die at any moment. Sometimes I don’t understand people.
P.S. We didn’t crash and die. This post was not written by my ghost. I am very much alive…and in pain. Gah, I got to do my physical therapy.