The internet allows for waaaaaay too much stalking. Too much heart stupidity. I should write some more happy stuff on here.
I’m a nut.
Thinking about what?
You, and your stupid little star striking ability.
Your voice kinda devours me.
Please go marry her.
Go fall and love and be happy.
Then maybe I can fall into my role as best friend, instead of heartbroken lover.
This is why I shouldn’t have friends.
This is why I shouldn’t be allowed to have guy friends.
This is why I can’t socialize with people like you.Beautiful people with beautiful voices that I just want to hug.
Is it possible to hug a voice?
Your voice makes me feel like hugging, and jumping through fields of lavendar.
It makes me feel so very angry and so very happy at the same time. So angry happy. So happy, that I’m angry.
I feel like you had more control over this than I did.
Like you knew what you were doing, with your voice, and your words, and your friendship,
Melting my heart.
Mine is an unreasonable response.
Unreasonable, unlogical response, and like a muse, you go on, and I melt, lost and inspired in my pain.
But yours is an unreasonable beauty.
I can’t love it so much, it cannot be so loveable, so desirable, so soul stretching, but it is, losing me in its depth.
The Lord knows. That unfathomable beauty, that unfathomable desire for it. He knows. He sees it. He lives it. He makes it.
The beauty to reflect back to him, the desire to pull towards him.
In my loneliness I look at that which is lovely and I realize it doesn’t fill my emptiness.
I look at that which draws me in and I see that it’s meant to bring me to more, to the source of all love.
I am drawn in by your beauty, but I am drawn past you, past the creation, to the Creator, past the painting and to the painter of real love itself, drawn to him, drawn to Christ, drawn to true Love.
I love you, oh how I love you, and I am going to try to continue to love because of you, because of the light of the Love I see in you, that reflection of the perfection.
I will continue to love you, to try to love you, like a lover of Christ.
Working toward perfection with my life.
I will love, and that will be enough, for me.
Now to find an open mic to read that at… – Catherine.