The dryer is running, and other things in my life.

It’s Sunday. Happy Sunday. A day of coffee drinking and cake eating, and heck, why not throw some chocolate in there while I’m at it?

That covers the spiritual, moving on…

Physical, emotional, literal? Friendships, love, happiness, family?
What to talk about…

My body. Still hurts from nerve damage. Today, or I mean, yesterday, I stood up from the couch and my entire head started to get fuzzy and then my legs began to feel weighted down. This happens from time to time. Then the backs of my thighs started throbbing in pain, and my head began to ache. Sometimes I wonder if it’s a sign that my surgery went wrong and now I’m going to die from a spinal fluid pop or something. I know simultaneously too much and too little about my illness and the subsequent surgery to know what’s up. I figure I’m fine. I’m too exhausted to think about it. Things aren’t as bad as they were back when my neck broke, so I figure there’s nothing serious…I hope…and if there is, what are they going to do, another surgery? No way, sir. My body is still recovering from that last one. Anyway, I think it was all just from standing up too quickly…But I worry.

My emotions. The guy. The guy who I nick-named John. I just. It hurts, you know? When you have no friends and your only choice of things to dwell on is whether you think you might die at any moment, or whether that a guy you code-named John likes you, you tend to choose the latter. But both tend to be painful. That guy John sure makes you happy sometimes though. You just wish you made him happy. And that you weren’t that annoying chick who keeps talking to him.

My work. I’m employed, so I could also be thinking about that, but I work every day next week, so the week seems like a good time to think about that, and not now. At least I’m blessed with a job that requires me to think, and doesn’t require me to sit at a desk.

…My neck is starting to ache now, so I’m going to end this. I wrote a two paragraph rant about work, and erased it and rewrote different things about work over and over, and now I’m exhausted.

 

Goodnight. Good morning. Thanks for reading, thanks for visiting, thanks for following, thanks for liking any of my poems or my writings. Thanks for feedback and comments and caring, or even just responding so that people see your name and thus your blog, as long as whatever you say isn’t literally : “READ MY BLOG”. I mean, by all means, mention your blog or whatever you want to mention, but please at least acknowledge the fact that you’ve read whatever it is that you’re supposedly commenting on. I get so excited when I have comments…and so disappointed when all they are is advertisements of other blogs. SPEAK TO ME. Please. I like speaking back.

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8 Comments

Filed under Cdukulele's life.

8 responses to “The dryer is running, and other things in my life.

  1. From the looks of that last paragraph, I guess now is a good time to tell you that I really enjoy reading your blog.^^ I’m in a similar situation when it comes to guys so it feels good to know I’m not the only one.

    • Thank you! It’s nice to hear back from a reader, from someone, a fellow human being with love issues too. Or infatuation, I tend to mix the two up. Your comment makes me happy, thanks again. 🙂

  2. Wow, I didn’t know you broke your neck! Have you blogged about this before? Sorry, I just recently began reading your blog. I’m sorry you are in pain! And guys suck sometimes, 😦

    • Haha, Um, not here, not really, no. I vaguely refer to it here: https://cdukulele.wordpress.com/a-bit-of-a-background/, but mostly I talked about it in my non secret blog. Kinda kept this reserved for things I wanted to think about or couldn’t stop thinking about… The pain is minimal. Just…always there. Sometimes worse, sometimes better. Maybe I’ll talk about it a bit here, somewhere, sometime. Start a new category. BUT it might mess with my secrecy! I MEAN, how many people are there in the world who have had brain surgery and broken their necks and play ukulele and enjoy writing about their lives in full detail on a blog? Eventually, someone I know in real life might start making connections. I’m putting a lot of faith in the internet being vast.
      Guys are a problem sometimes…But…I get over it. Every guy I’ve ever had a crush on has wound up positively impacting me in some way. At least by poem topics or song lyrics. Love hurts. Infatuation hurts. Things hurt…But when there are happy moments, it makes all the pain disappear, at least for a while.
      🙂 Thanks for the sweet caring! 🙂

  3. Yeah I understand the need for anonymity. I told a few close friends about my blog, but not my family. It would be super weird for them to read it. You are so wise and a great positive thinker! That guy that I loved always made me laugh and I don’t regret loving him, even though he didn’t feel the same. Thanks for giving me a new perspective 🙂

    • YES. Tell family nothing. Remain a shell of hidden thoughts and memories. HIDDEN SHELL! …I’m only joking, of course, of course. >insert shifty eyes here<

      It would detract from that sense that you can say whatever you want without worrying about the repercussions. Otherwise, I'd totally let my family read this. But then they'd be all, WHY DO YOU WRITE SO MANY LOVE POEMS?
      And that'd be no bueno. Probably. I dunno.

      Thank you for the compliments! I try, I try. I'm much better at being positive for others than myself. I pretty much think there is always hope, always a chance, always a good thing coming, on the way. Just depends on the moment whether I remind myself that's what I believe, or I stew in misery. I try not to stew. Telling stuff to others helps me not stew. You're welcome! 😉

  4. I guess everyone gets super excited about comments because unlike likes,they’re actually telling you something more than that they like your blog……
    I have recently started stalking blogs which talk about crushes and love,and you’re totally among them!(Yes,I know that sounds creepy……I end up doing this a lot).
    I love reading your posts because honestly,you’re writing about things I’d be afraid to write about(even with codenames and secret blogs 🙂 ).I love the honesty……and you express yourself in a way that everyone can relate to,and it just feels good to read your blog,and kinda laugh and shrug and shake my head and feel with you. 🙂

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