Monthly Archives: March 2014

Thank you!

Um….I’ve officially beat November.

So…Thank you.

Thank you very, very much.

For reading my blog.

For clicking on pages and things and looking at the words of this twenty-three year old, part time employed, college graduate, who has crushes on too many guys, and a penchant for nerve pain. Penchant, meaning, a tendency to do that. Do nerve pain. Can one do nerve pain?

Anyhow….

You make me happy.

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

…And that number of views just keeps going on up. Umm…

 

YAYAYYAYAYYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAY!!!!

 

I have to get ready for work. I’d say more, but work. Work work work.

 

– Cdukulele

 

I feel a little weird because I got those views within an hour of posting about it. Good weird. But like, it just happened so easily. ANYWAY, THANK YOU!!!!!

 

Guess now that that’s done, I can move onto my my next goal, conquering the world. MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH. 😉

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Numbers

Guess what?

I’ve almost beat my viewing numbers for my top popularity month. Five more views, and I beat November. FIVE MORE.

 

In an effort to encourage those last five views, I’ll write a poem.

No.

I’ll write something.

 

Once upon a time…

 

Gah.

 

My niece and I are listening to the FROZEN Soundtrack, via our handy dandy television turned CD player.

Good times. Except I’m totally distracted, and I only have ten hours to get five views. Seven, if I want to get those East Coasters.

Whew.

Maybe I’ll post another one of those journal entries I composed on my phone at three in the morning…

HAPPY MONDAY!

(I almost went this entire post not mentioning LE. CRUSH. Too bad this counts. Crushy crush crush. Sigh.)

 

-Catherine

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March 31, 2014 · 12:58 pm

The dryer is running, and other things in my life.

It’s Sunday. Happy Sunday. A day of coffee drinking and cake eating, and heck, why not throw some chocolate in there while I’m at it?

That covers the spiritual, moving on…

Physical, emotional, literal? Friendships, love, happiness, family?
What to talk about…

My body. Still hurts from nerve damage. Today, or I mean, yesterday, I stood up from the couch and my entire head started to get fuzzy and then my legs began to feel weighted down. This happens from time to time. Then the backs of my thighs started throbbing in pain, and my head began to ache. Sometimes I wonder if it’s a sign that my surgery went wrong and now I’m going to die from a spinal fluid pop or something. I know simultaneously too much and too little about my illness and the subsequent surgery to know what’s up. I figure I’m fine. I’m too exhausted to think about it. Things aren’t as bad as they were back when my neck broke, so I figure there’s nothing serious…I hope…and if there is, what are they going to do, another surgery? No way, sir. My body is still recovering from that last one. Anyway, I think it was all just from standing up too quickly…But I worry.

My emotions. The guy. The guy who I nick-named John. I just. It hurts, you know? When you have no friends and your only choice of things to dwell on is whether you think you might die at any moment, or whether that a guy you code-named John likes you, you tend to choose the latter. But both tend to be painful. That guy John sure makes you happy sometimes though. You just wish you made him happy. And that you weren’t that annoying chick who keeps talking to him.

My work. I’m employed, so I could also be thinking about that, but I work every day next week, so the week seems like a good time to think about that, and not now. At least I’m blessed with a job that requires me to think, and doesn’t require me to sit at a desk.

…My neck is starting to ache now, so I’m going to end this. I wrote a two paragraph rant about work, and erased it and rewrote different things about work over and over, and now I’m exhausted.

 

Goodnight. Good morning. Thanks for reading, thanks for visiting, thanks for following, thanks for liking any of my poems or my writings. Thanks for feedback and comments and caring, or even just responding so that people see your name and thus your blog, as long as whatever you say isn’t literally : “READ MY BLOG”. I mean, by all means, mention your blog or whatever you want to mention, but please at least acknowledge the fact that you’ve read whatever it is that you’re supposedly commenting on. I get so excited when I have comments…and so disappointed when all they are is advertisements of other blogs. SPEAK TO ME. Please. I like speaking back.

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MISS

I miss you I miss you I miss you.

You’re right there, and I miss you.

You’re so close that I could almost touch you

and I miss you

because you’re not there.

Not here.

Somewhere.

Be closer.

I just wish you were closer.

To me.

So that we’d be a we.

I miss you.

And I almost can’t stand you because I miss you so much.

 

Miss me.

 

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I keep telling myself that friendship

means that I resist the urge to type “I LIKE YOU” at the end of every text.

means that I will not fill those four inches of space between us at the table, and kiss you on the cheek.

means that when you invite me to hang out with you, we’re just hanging out.

means that I meet a whole bunch of your friends, and when they ask us how we met, I nonchalantly refer to a coffee shop and music.

means that when friends of yours, who are girls, walk in, I don’t freak out about whether or not you actually like them more than me.

means that I only secretly appreciate the fact that one of your female friends brought a guy with her.

means that we talk and laugh and joke and enjoy the time we spend together.

means that I get to spend time with you.

means that I don’t fall in love.

 

…is this friendship?

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Peas

You make me feel like everything is going to be okay. Like, there is hope and happiness. Like you are proof that there is love and goodness in this world. Proof of friendship.
I don’t know if it’s you, or the way you make me feel when I’m with you. The way I feel when I’m not with you. The way I feel just knowing that you exist. It makes me happy, it makes me content, as if as long as you are, I can always go on, and with that in my mind, all I want is to do everything I can to make you happy.

I don’t understand it myself. Nobody else has ever brought me the peace that liking you brings. There was always stress and fear and complications. Thinking of you just, makes me content. Is it because we’re friends? And because when you say we’re friends there is no pressure for more and I feel like you genuinely enjoy our time together, and I genuinely enjoy it too?

No pressure, but still hope, still something, because whatever this friendship is now, it can only become stronger and happier and more beautiful as time goes on?
Because you’re an artist, and I’m artist. You like puppies, and I like puppies. You admire literature, and I do too. We both joke, we both laugh at each other’s jokes.

There’s compatibility. There’s friendship. There’s happiness. It brings me peace, and I like it. I like you.

Thank you. Thank you for this friendship.

– Cdukulele

 

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TREES!!!

I have got to stop leaving my blog accidentally signed in on my home computer.

It really puts a damper on the whole “Super Secret Blog” thing when anyone in the house can simply type “wordpress” into the address box and have immediate access to everything my blog contains. I totally thought I logged out last time…

 

Anywho, it’s nearly noon and I just woke up. Work finally sent out the schedules for the week at 1 in the morning, so I’m going in this afternoon. My Mom’s taking the car in to repair the air conditioning, and I’m watching my niece.

I have three and a half hours to exercise, shower, and get ready for work.

I suppose that’s enough time.

I’m kind of in this grumpy haze though, resulting from lack of sleep and unexpected child watching responsibilities.

I am not my best when I first wake up. Especially when my sleep was already disturbed at seven and nine in the morning; two perfectly healthy times for a normal individual to wake up, but I stayed up past three, reading the memoirs of hiker.

Sure, I probably could have been sleeping instead of reading, and then I would have woken up at a normal and helpful time, and not be the crabbiness that I currently am, but I didn’t.

I learned about the adventure of walking the trail instead.

Now I want to be a flippin’ hiker.

That would solve my boy problems.

Don’t have to worry about whether or not someone’s going to respond to your texts if you’re wandering through the wilderness with a camping backpack. There’s no phone for them to text, and no cell tower to send the message. What a life.

My phone just reminded me of the other people who send me messages, like people who kind of need me. I can’t go on a hike to avoid specific issues in my life, then I just avoid my life.

If you pray, then please say a prayer for my friend and her family.

Thank you.

– Catherine

 

 

 

 

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