Distrust

Sunday night I spent two hours on the phone with a guy. A guy I had decided that I was just going to be friends with. We were just friends.

You know, the friends that never talk to each other except to send a random text every couple of weeks?

Except this time he asked me to compose a list of all the ways he failed and hurt me, so that he could work on them.

It now occurs to me that this could have been a ploy to merely get me to talk to him again.

At the time I was suspicious, but the combined idea of hearing his voice again and potentially helping him be a better person, while venting some past hurts won out against my distrust.

So we talked.

And I still don’t know if he’s trying to be a better person, or trying to make me think he’s trying to be a better person just so I’ll talk to him again.

I don’t know why I’m so suspicious.

But I do enjoy talking to someone.

I have problems. I don’t know if they’re real or if I’m making them up but, either way, I’m confused.

– cdukulele

 

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