Selfish when in pain.

Yesterday was a bit tough for me. I came home rather exhausted after helping my brother with a library book sale, and my body hurt from four days of no exercise and extra standing, walking, and sitting. I started composing a blog post to keep myself awake, while my mother took the opportunity to run to the store and leave my niece under my supervision.

My blog post went on and on about my miseries, contemplating why I had to suffer so much, and wondering when it would ever go away, when I noticed deep sighs mixed with the occasional sniffle from the corner of the room. My four year old niece was rolled up in the corner of the couch, clutching a roll of tissue, and looking rather tired and exhausted herself.

Sometimes…when you’re wallowing in self pity, it’s hard to see the other people suffering around you…and sometimes it takes the need of others to draw you out of your own pain.

So I sat on the couch with my niece for a while, folded over in exhaustion like her, and I cheered her on whenever she managed to take a bite of tomato or cucumber from the designated bowl of vegetables she had to eat. Then I gathered up more energy, and pity for her four year old sniffles and red nose, and made her some berry tea.

Soon her mother came home, and she was a happy again, and I could go back to focusing on me for a while. So I exercised.

Anyway, I’ve learned that I am still recovering from my surgery 16 months ago, and I do get easily exhausted, but it’s okay because I can still sit with my niece and then make her a cup of tea.

Sometimes you just need twelve hours of sleep to change your perception.

Another public service announcement brought to you by cdukulele. Stay optimistic, and make tea.



Filed under Various writing

2 responses to “Selfish when in pain.

  1. Don’t be hard on yourself, we all have bad days and we all have the right to vent our spleen about them too! I suffer from Acute Osteoarthritis & Acute Hypermobility Syndrome. I live with pain and tiredness too and I vent! So, once again, don’t be guilty and yes, sleep does help us see things more positively 🙂 Have a nice evening.

    • Thank you Claire. After my surgery last year, I had entire months of being unable to do anything, so it’s weird to have days where I’m so strong and can go and volunteer and help people, and then a couple hours in feel exhausted. If I’m better, I want to just be better. I don’t want to have to stop. Which is ridiculous of me, because everything doesn’t heal at the same time, and I need to build up my endurance, and being worn out 8 hours in is a gift when before I couldn’t leave the house for 15 minutes.
      Thank you for your kind comment and understanding, I appreciate it, enjoy the rest of your day/evening too! – Catherine/cdukulele

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