I hope.

I remember dancing down the hall
Happy as a clam, no cares at all.
I’d just finished the last exam of my college career,
I had passed it too, I had no fear
I danced, I skipped, Bible in hand,
Triumphantly leaving a Theology exam.
I remember smiling at passing faces,
triumphantly exclaiming the Lord’s praises,
for I had survived seventeen years of school,
from Kinder to college, proving I wasn’t a fool.
A few days later I walked across the stage,
received my diploma, it all passed in a haze.

Now I’m here, half a year later…
not even employed as a part-time waiter.
Educated, learned,
and still I haven’t earned
enough to start to pay
those loans I started that first day.

Woe is me.
Sad, no glee.
Look what an English Literature diploma has brought to me.

I had a plan. It involved more school.
But they were all full at the school I was going to apply to.
So I’ve waited. Had a temporary job.
Couldn’t work much, because sitting made my ankle throb.
Now time is passing, I’m unemployed again.
Writing and singing is what my joy’s in.
Friends across country. Family busy enough,
with life, and bills, and work, and stuff.

So it’s just me. Day after day. Planning and hoping…what I can’t say.
Try try try.
Sigh sigh sigh.
I need something to do.
Before I die.
Complicated mess.
Plans I can’t guess.
I’m moving to Florida.
Or Antarctica.
Or somewhere.
Anywhere.
Because maybe the problems are just here.
And they won’t follow me there.

I hope.

 

 

 

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Filed under All Poetry, General Poems

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