Yesterday I was miserable.
I had lost my grasp on reality.
I didn’t understand how I was ever happy.
This morning I woke up, and I was inexplicably changed.
I think I might be deranged.
I was content, I wasn’t questioning everything,
I accepted being.
The only difference between the two times is the sun and a prayer.
I prayed for happiness, the sun came up, and suddenly something more like happiness, less like misery, was there.
I do not understand it.
But now I am afraid, no actual substantial difference was made, there is no reason for me to be content, but I am.
So I fear that when the sun goes down, I will be miserable again.
Life will lose its meaning, I will question truth and life,
and I am by no means ready again for misery to be rife.
So I’ll hope….and I’ll keep praying….but I still can’t shake that fear…that it’s near.